Especially in late september,
Clubs heave with wide-eyed youngsters,
Eager to explore what hedonistic delights,
This quaint seaside town has to offer.
Men on the cusp of adulthood,
Still wet behind the ears,
Seek to integrate with strangers of the opposite sex,
And be welcomed with open legs.
I remember when I was the same,
Youthful and fresh-penised,
Back then people had sevens and eights,
On the back of their sixth form hoodies.
We were all as naive as each other,
So in that way it was harmless,
Now it would be like shooting fish in a barrel,
And I've got one big-ass gun.
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